Chapter 25 - Begin Again

January 2^nd, 3:16 AM


The night was cold, and the black cat trudged through the snow, sinking low every time she took a step. The memories of her past came flooding all over her at once. It wasn’t perfect -they were all in bits and pieces- but they were enough to understand the whole picture.

~*F*~

Memory 1:

Alameda Kathrine Plight- Age 10

As my father constantly beats me, “training” me, I try not to utter a sound. I know if I say anything, he would make sure I get nothing to eat and “teach” me between “right” and “wrong”. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see my mother covering my brother’s eyes, and my twin sister grinning at me. I never wonder why I don’t just run away. Perhaps it’s because I don’t know that not everyone’s life is as miserable as mine. Or maybe I stay to protect my mother and my little brother. Either way, the thought of disobeying my father simply does not come up as a choice and I continue on, patiently taking the abuse. When all is over, I lock myself in my room and start bandaging myself up. I hear a knock at the door, but I don’t answer. I can hear a soft clicking as my little brother picks the lock and enters quietly.

“Everyone is going to go out tonight and look at the stars. Wanna come?” my little brother asks. I say nothing, but only smile and rub his head, messing up his hair.

“You do realize that you’re just going to get punished again if you skip out on tonight’s assignment, right? This will make the third time in a row,” Katrina says, entering in the room with a scowl on her face.

“You can handle simple jobs like that yourself, Trina,” I speak softly. “I don’t like killing people.” I perch myself on the windowsill and jump down, landing lightly on my feet. My brother follows and we crawl under a hole in the fence where we meet up with my only friends, Cato, the werecat, and Mindy, the mage.

“You’re here! Alright! Let’s go, Kat!” Cato says and we all run off in the direction of our secret base: a small, misty glade with one tall tree rising up out of the middle of it. We climb the tree to our wooden platform we built and gaze up at the night sky and talk of pointless things like all little kids should.

Memory 2:

Alameda Kathrine Plight- Age 10

A few days later....

I walk home from school, carrying the secret grape-sized object with me that father asked me to deliver to a friend of his on my way back. Cato walks with me as usual, snacking on a fish stick. Katrina always goes home by car.

“Do you have to eat that in front of me?” I ask, ruffling up my nose.

“Why? What’s wrong with it.”

“You know why, I hate fish.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, you hate fish. Even though you have absolutely no reason to.”

“I hate it because you like it, what better reason is there?”

“Hey! Wait up!” someone shouts from behind.

We both turn and see Mindy running towards us with a dog. Cato immediately jumps behind me. “What’s with the dog?” he asks nervously.

“He’s my new pet. His name is Escapade.”

“That’s a good name for a dog. Kill it, Kat.”

“No! Don’t kill my dog! He’s not going to eat you, Cato,” Mindy objected.

“I don’t care, I don’t like dogs. Just kill it already.”

I don’t care much for the dog myself, but it intrigues me. I reach down and pet it, but it growls and begins barking ferociously.

“Aaah! See? Kill it! Kill it!” Cato yells.

The dog leaps at me and grabs my bag in its teeth. Mindy tries to pull it back, but Escapade is too strong and it only helps him to pull the bag from my hands. Once he has it, he grabs the secret item from it and runs off, tripping Mindy in the process. I immediately begin to go after it.

“Wait! Are you just going to leave Mindy?” Cato objects.

“My dad will kill me if I lose that object.”

“That doesn’t matter, Mindy’s twisted her ankle.”

“I have full confidence that she can take care of herself and recover,” I say, running off. The dog hadn’t gotten too far ahead and I manage to keep up with it, thanks to my “training”. It runs into someone’s yard where a boy about my age and his parents are playing. As the dog runs through their flower garden, the boy and woman join in the chase and I notice that Cato has also followed me. I guess that Mindy asked him to go on as well. The boy is the one to finally catch him. The dog seems to adore him and it drops the item into the boy’s hands. I swipe it from him quickly and put it back in my bag which Cato had brought me. I begin walking away as Cato thanks him. The rest of the way, I just hear Cato saying how rude and impolite I am. A car drives up with Mindy in the back and we put Escapade (who was currently struggling with Cato) in the car with her. She seems to understand about being left behind, and they drive off. When we arrive at the building where I am to deliver the secret object, I tell Cato to stay outside and arrive to a slap in the face.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting, girl? I thought you had run off with it yourself!” the man I’m supposed to deliver it to says.

“I’m sorry, Sir. It wont happen again.”

“I’ll make sure that it doesn’t. Your father is going to hear of this.”

“I deserve such punishment. If I make take my leave....”

“No, there’s one more thing. Who is that?”

“Sir?” I look to where he’s pointing. Standing at the window looking in is Cato. When I looked, he waved and smiled.

“He’s a friend from school. He knows nothing about us.”

“Oh? But he’s just seen our transaction. And that means that I have to kill him.” He aims his gun at Cato through the window. Cato seems to realize and ducks in time. Meanwhile, I run out the door, grab his hand and pull him along, the two of us running for dear life. The man doesn’t chase us for long and I know he’s calling my father that very moment.

“Cato, quickly. Call your father and tell him to get out of there. Tell him to leave everything, just run. Have him meet you at the glade.”

“Kat, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot.”

“Shut up! Just call him before my dad finds out and kills him.”

Cato and his dad successfully escape my father’s wrath in time with a little help from my mother and brother who figure out what is going on. When I arrive home, I am greeted with a whip and I spend the rest of the week in a cell room. My brother offers to help me get out, but I don’t want to risk my brother getting in trouble, so I stay.

Over the next few days after I’m let out, the boy who had captured the dog (he introduces himself as Konrad Aimery) continuously pesters me to be his friend, but I ignore him. I don’t want any more people to get hurt because of me. From that day on, I live as my father always wants me to live. I distance myself from Mindy even, and speak to no one except my twin sister at school. My little brother becomes my closest comrade. I never see Cato after that.

Memory 3:

Alameda Kathrine Plight- Age 15

I am given an assignment to kill Mr. Aimery and his family. It is nothing new to me. There have been many times that I have to assassinate someone in school. I never ask the reason. I only obey.

That night, I enter the house through the window. Katrina is on another case, so I am alone. I wander through the hall and spot a picture on the wall of the day we all chased the dog. Everything from that time seems so unreal to me, that I simply shrug it off and go on. There was never a time that I was happy or had friends. That was all a dream. I find the father first, sleeping at a desk riddled with art and raise my knife. As I am about to thrust it into his back, he wakes up and grabs my arm. Quickly, I jump back and ready my blade. A quiet fight ensues. It seems the father wants to beat me all his own. He doesn’t call for help. I attack, he blocks. He is quite skilled. No one ever lasts more than thirty seconds when I fight. This fight lasts for about five minutes before I hear a sudden noise in the back of the room and instinctively draw my gun and shoot. Before I know it, the bullet penetrates the woman and she falls dead. Now the man is the one attacking and I am forced to dodge his heavy blows. Why he is angered, I do not know. I never knew what it was like to love family. My body moves on its own. I am used to this. This is normal everyday life for me. Fighting and killing is all I know how to do, so why should I do otherwise? I can’t possibly understand these people who know love. These people who can have fun. I never have fun. I never enjoy doing this.

“So why do you do it?” the man asks, cutting into my reverie as he gasps for air. He slumps down against the wall and to the floor. In my trance, I seem to have managed a fatal blow. I stare at him. “Why do you kill people you don’t want to kill?”he asked.

“Because that’s all I know how to do. Because my father will kill me if I don’t.”

“Is your life better than others’?”

“I have full confidence....” I am suddenly reminded of Cato and Mindy. I am reminded of Cato getting mad about leaving Mindy behind. My answer then was that I had confidence that she would recover. But what about now? A dead person does not recover. I notice that the man has now passed on. Suddenly, I feel a hand grip my shoulder. Frightened, I spin and slash my knife at his eyes. I realize that it’s Konrad Aimery, the boy who always asks me to be his friend. He clutches at his eyes and falls back against the wall. At this, I realize, I am nothing but a monster. A monster who kills and does nothing else. I suddenly feel that I want to love somebody. That I want to be loved back. I want to stop being my father’s little helper. I want to stop killing everyone for my father’s sake. Instead, I want to live. I want to live for my friend’s sake. Friends. How long ago was it that I had them? I look over at the boy and realize I have just torn his whole world apart. I want to apologize. I want to say I’m sorry. I start to reach out my hand.

“Murderer,” he mumbles. “Murderer. Murderer, Murderer!” I see blood streaming down his face from beneath his hands. I hear sirens from outside. At this, I jump out the window, and run.

Memory 4:

Alameda Kathrine Plight- Age 15

A few hours later....

I tell my father I want out. I don’t want anymore killing. My sister, who has fully joined in my father’s thinking, laughs at me. My father grows angry.

“Who put that idea into your head? Who taught you to disobey your father?” he yelled.

“No one. It’s something I thought of myself.”

“Why you!” My father aims a punch at me and I turn my face away to prepare myself for it, but it never hits me. I look up to see my mother standing in front of me, her arms stretched wide. “Out of my way, woman!” My father yells. “You never got in my way before!”

“One must start somewhere,” my mother said.

At this my sister got angry and was about to attack my mother as well, but my brother stopped her and fought with her. I simply stood in shock as I watched my mother struggling with my father, my brother being overpowered by my sister.

“Why? Why are you fighting? You know you can’t win. Why throw away your lives.... for my sake?” I ask.

“Kat. We love you. What better reason is there?” my brother replied.

At this, both of them were killed before my very eyes and I could do nothing but stand there and watch as my father descended upon me. But again, my body is used to this. It followed through on its own and I killed my own father. All that is left is Katrina who only stares at me, then leaves. Somehow, I stumble out of the house and into the pouring rain. I run as fast as I can to who knows where. My mind is blank. I can’t make out anything that has happened. When I finally become aware of myself, I realize I’m sitting at the border of my town and that Mindy is standing there in front of me.

“Kat?”

“Mindy. What... is love? I... want to know. Why... why would someone die... for another?”

“Cato.... when he was in trouble, about to be killed. You risked your life to save him. You sacrificed your freedom for the sake of your friend’s lives. That is love.”

“Love.... I... was loved once. I had people who loved me. But... they’re all gone now. I want to go. I want to go with them. To where they are. Mindy. Kill me. I have no strength to do it myself.”

“You’re right. You have no strength. What you need now is not death, but a good long rest. I promise, Kat. When you wake up, you will find love. I promise.”

Mindy uses her staff and casts a spell on me. Everything begins to go black. Is this... death? Somehow, I feel like I’m being separated from myself. Like I’m traveling into a large empty space by myself. Suddenly.... I am frightened. I don’t want to die. I just wish.... I just wish.... I could....

I woke up. I had no memories of before, but just as promised, someone that I loved and who loved me stood hovering over me. It was Rex, the kind gardener from the mansion.

“Mindy. Cato. Kon. Ven. Carumati,” Ally thought to herself as she walked on through the snow. “I would give my life for them- because... I love them. After all... what better reason is there?”